Is Sobriety Possible, or Is It a Lost Cause?

Addiction is a chronic disorder. Relapse doesn’t mean failure; I believe it is simply an indication that the person does not know how to live life sober.

Sobriety is absolutely possible, but we have to change how we view addiction and relapse.

The belief that the drugs and/or alcohol are the problem has been taught for years, and for good reason. The substance user’s actions are focused on obtaining their substance so they can keep using. They lie, cheat and steal to reach this goal. But if the problem really were the substance, the person would get better as soon as the substance was removed. You see some evidence of this change when your loved one is in treatment, but for some reason it doesn’t always stick. Getting sober is one thing; staying sober is something different.

Addiction defies all logic. Why would a person relapse and go back to using, knowing there will be negative consequences? Why would they relapse knowing they will be physically and emotionally miserable?

So what is really driving the addiction? It comes down to not knowing how to live sober. For the addicted person, using is the solution, not the problem. You might say it’s their “default” setting.

People typically do well in treatment because of its structure and clear expectations. After multiple treatments, however, they become used to being in treatment and learn to be compliant. They have little awareness of the beliefs that drive their behavior. They know a great deal about addiction and recovery, but can’t seem to use their new coping skills outside the treatment setting.

I can help identify which coping skills are missing or underdeveloped, and teach people how to challenge the beliefs that keep them stuck in the relapse cycle.